don't you recall
by AZTbreak
Summary: Collins gets memory loss how will it change his relationship
1. Chapter 1

**I own nothing.**

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Collins and Angel were walking home from their date. They were having a good day they made up for a fight they recently had and there was no people openly harassing them. Angel was wearing the flower mini skirt that Collins just loved. They made their way up to their apartment once inside the sat on the couch and started to make out. Collins was practically on top of her when he heard noise.

He looked up "Did you hear that?"

"There is no blood going to my ears" Angel giggled she was buzzed.

He heard it again it sounded like a scream he sat up "I'll be right back."

"Should I go?"

"No stay here."

He went out into the stairwell and saw a guy beating a girl. Collins started to run down the started to run down the stairs not knowing if it was a rape, a mugging, or a bully but he didn't care he had to stop it. If the superintendent would have been around he could have stopped this. The super is a nice guy who treats all the people who live there with respect unlike benny. Anyway Collins got down there and pushed the guy out of the way. The girl sank to the floor crying and bleeding.

"Are you okay?" he asked but before she could answer the guy came over and punched him.

They got into a fight, now the other apartment tenants came out to see what was going on. Immediately one called 911 while others ran down to help. The guy banged Collins head against the wall yelling at him to mind his own business when the people reached them. Collins sank to the floor unconscious; Angel was still on the couch unaware and worried.

"Where is he?" she checked her watch again he had been gone for 15 minutes.

She finally got up and walked out into the stairwell and looked down. On the bottom floor there were police and paramedics but most importantly there was Collins on a stretcher. She ran down the stairs as fast as she could and pushed past the wall of people.

"I'm sorry I can't let you through" a cop stopped her.

"But that's my boyfriend" she pointed past him to the stretcher being wheeled out.

"Ok but hurry."

Angel got into the ambulance really freaked out this was the first time he was ever admitted to a hospital. When they arrived they made her fill out paper work in the waiting room. After that she called everyone and told them to hurry. They arrived quickly and saw her starring off into space Mimi ran up to her.

"Oh my god Angel what happened?" She hugged Angel.

"I don't know they won't tell me anything" the drag queen broke down.

"It's ok everything's gonna be fine" Roger said.

She looked up "how do you know?"

He was at a loss for words they all sat in different seats and waited for 38 minutes before a doctor came with information.

"It's a head injury obviously: hair line fractures."

"Will there be any permanent damage?" Joanne asked.

"Well with head injuries it's hard to tell but with as bad as that… maybe memory loss or possibly coma we are not too sure. You are allowed to see him room 1224."

They hurried off and walked into the room they sat around the bed and waited. They were hoping that Collins would wake up soon. After a few minutes there was light tapping on the door.

"Come in!" Maureen shouted and a bruised and cut up girl walked in.

"Um.. is this the room of the man that saved me?" she asked.

They all looked to Angel who nodded "Yes but he's not awake" she motioned to him.

"Well I have to head out of here soon but I just wanted to thank him for saving my life" she looked to her hand. "I brought flowers I never meant for anyone to get hurt it's just Kevin gets like that sometimes."

"If he treats you like that why are you still with him" Mimi asked.

"Well not anymore he got arrested and it was never this bad… anyway my sister is here I have to go."

"Ok bye" Angel put the flowers in a vase.

As soon as she shut the door Collins shifted he was waking up! They all moved in closer. Collins opened his eyes everything was blurry but in a second it all became clear. He sat up his head was killing him Angel threw her arm around him and kissed his cheek.

"Oh my god Collins you're ok! You had me so worried!" he didn't hug her back he just gave them a confused look.

Angel let go "Are you ok?"

"Yeah and I don't mean to be rude but who are you? All of you?" Collins asked.

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first chapter done **read & review**


	2. Chapter 2

**yay chapter 2 sorry if it sucks i had no time to write it :(**

**review please**

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"You mean you don't know?" Angel asked he shook his no.

"Very funny, Collins" Roger smiled but Collins wasn't joking.

"Who's Collins?" he looked around.

"You are!" Mimi said.

He thought about it "shouldn't it be Colin?"

"No" Angel told him "your name is Tomas B. Collins but all of your friends and I call you Collins."

"Well who are you?"

"Your girlfriend…_Angel_" she tried to remind him.

"And who are they?" he motioned to the rest of them.

"Uh…. You guys can introduce yourselves I'll be right back" Angel said and walked out her heals clicking the whole way.

Once outside, she when looking for the doctor it didn't take long to find him. He was talking to the other doctors and a few nurses. She went right up and tapped him on the shoulder.

"Excuse me Dr. Linz"

He turned around "Yes how can I help you?"

"Um the man in 1224 has a lot of memory lost and-" he cut her off.

"Yes as I said a little loss of memory is normal it happens all the time" he walked Angel back down the hall.

"I couldn't give a flying fuck what's normal we haven't had a normal day in forever! It's not just a little memory loss he has no clue who he is, what should I do?"

"Memory loss is tricky we can never tell when or if it will come back. Just start telling him from the beginning make sure you keep it light don't over whelm him and hope for the best."

"That's it?"

"I'm afraid so" he said "now I better get back to work. But as soon as he's feeling well enough he can go."

"Ok" Angel nodded softly and headed back to the room.

She walked back and opened the door Joanne and Maureen where talking to Collins. He was recapping what they told him.

"So you're lesbians?" the y nodded "That's kinda hot."

"I know right" Maureen high fived him.

"So Collins have you met everyone?" Angel walked to the bed.

"Yup"

"Are you ready to go home?"

"Uh sure… Do we live together" he asked she nodded "Cool."

They said goodbye to everyone and they all left the hospital. Once they got outside Collins wrapped and arm around her.

She looked at him and he shrugged, "Well if we're dating we should act like it."

"You are exactly right Collins" Angel smiled and he kissed her.

"Yeah I don't understand that the whole last name thing can you just call me Tom for now?"

"Uh sure if that's what you want" her smile faded.

She almost always calls him Collins everyone does. This was going to take some getting used to but it won't be that bad will it? What's the worst that can happen? When they got back to the apartment Collins seemed surprised.

"This is it?" he looked around.

"Yeah well we don't have much money don't worry it's actually really nice once you get used to it" she sat him on the couch. "Now make yourself comfy I'm going to get my pajamas on."

Collins grabbed a book off the table it was a philosophy one he opened it read a few paragraphs. He started laughing this was one of the stupidest books ever. After a few minutes Angel came out of the room in his pajamas. Collins got off the couch and stuck out his hand.

"Hi I'm Tom and you are?" he introduced.

"You mean you don't know?" he asked.

"No see I got hit on the head and I don't remember anything anymore."

"Shit! How could I forget damn it?!" Angel covered his face and shouted. "Ok coll- ur um Tom sit down."

He sat on the couch and Angel sat on the coffee table "Ok we're sitting down" Collins said.

"Listen I am Angel" Collins rolled his eyes and assumed it was a joke, "I'm serious I'm a drag queen and we are dating."

He finally made the connection "Oh…. My… God… YOU'RE A FUCKING FAGGOT?! AND I FUCKING KISSED YOU TODAY! SICK!"


	3. Chapter 3

**Wow this is a long chapter oops:)**

** anyway you know the drill i own nothing blah blah blah**

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Angel stood there trying to process what Collins had just said.

"What?" was the only word he could manage.

"You're fucking disgusting! How could you not say anything?"

"I forgot I wasn't thinking" Angel said softly.

"Damn you must be pretty stupid to forget how a guy dresses. Now the whole AIDS thing makes sense fairy."

Angel's jaw dropped, he couldn't believe what he was hearing from someone he loves "Collins…"

He rolled his eye now a little more calm "what?"

"Do you even hear yourself? Why are you freaking out you are gay too."

"I guess not anymore" he said smugly "listen I don't remember being gay and after seeing you I don't want to remember."

"What are you saying?" the tears were forming in his eyes.

"DO I have to spell it out for you? You are a fag you're gross and now you're gonna cry."

"No uh I'm just gonna go to bed….." he wiped a tear away "I uh I'll sleep on the couch I guess."

"Well it's not like you're sleeping in the bed with me" Collins mumbled leaving the room.

Angel sat on the couch in shock with an occasional tear rolling down his cheek. _This can't be the end of us can it?_ He thought_ Collins will get his memory back and everything will go back to normal. God I hope! What happens if he never remembers and he kicks me out and I never see him again? God I don't think could last without him he's everything to me. I might as well start packing my shit. No! Angel girl get a hold of yourself! Take a deep breath and hope for the best. Stay positive._ He sighed and started to fix a bed on the couch.

The next morning when Angel got up he was a little confused at first but after a second he remembered. It was a lot to handle all over again so early so he pulled the blanket over his head and convince himself that it was just a dream. It didn't work. Accepting fate she got off the couch and headed for the bedroom. He snuck in quietly Collins was asleep not surprising he usually slept in later than Angel. He opened up the closet the door was stuck. He yanked on the door knob a couple times before it swung open and hit the wall loudly.

Collins woke up and saw who it was "What do you want?" he said groggy.

"I'm just getting and outfit Collins-"

"Tom" he reminded.

"Ok_ Tom_ I'm just getting an outfit I'll leave in a minute."

"Ok" he grumbled and turned away.

He started to walk toward the bathroom "Well you should probably get up we're supposed to go to Mark and Roger's soon."

Collins or um Tom sighed and got up. Angel showered, shaved, and put his make up on. Not only changing him into a her but giving her some confidence.

As soon as she stepped out of the Tom scoffed "You're wearing that?"

"Should I not?" she looked at her outfit.

"Well this is just my opinion but your get up…" he started to talk softer "is coming off a little fruity."

He burst out in laugher Angel rolled her eyes "You're an asshole" she stormed out of the room.

He almost fell of the couch laughing "Stop hitting on me!"

"Shut up!" she yelled and grabbed their coats.

"Awwww it made it mad" Tom stood up he stopped laughing as she gave him his coat "what's that?"

"Your coat"

"No this is a piece of garbage."

"Is that what you really think of it?" Angel looked over the worn jacket she bought for him over a year ago.

"Ya look at it it's a piece of crap it's worn faded and altogether I hate it."

"Well then you don't have to wear it but it is cold outside" she gently put it back.

"So where did I get that piece of shit?" he asked as they walked down the stair well.

"I bought it for you when we said we liked each other. You needed a coat and you liked that one."

"Really you would think I have better taste."

"Well we don't have very much money" they exited the building.

Tom looked around "What gave you that idea? What do I do for a living?"

"You teach computer age philosophy."

"That sounds boring."

"It's really not" Angel led him to the loft.

"Well no one asked for your gay ass opinion."

She ignored him and they walked upstairs once in the loft mark played 'today 4 u proof positive.' Over in the kitchen Angel talked with the girls and Roger.

"He's called you Faggot?" Mimi asked and Angel cringed.

"Ya."

"What did you do?" Roger asked.

"I don't know I basically shut down."

"I am so sorry" Maureen hugged her.

"You know Angel if you can't take it and you need a place to stay then our door is open" Joanne said.

"Same for us" Mimi added.

"Thanks you guys really I appreciate but.."

"But you're too stubborn to accept because you think you will be this huge burden even though you won't" Roger cut in.

Angel smiled and shrugged her friends know her too well. The lights suddenly came back on the film was over they all walked over to the couch to see if it jogged his memory. He stared at them blankly for a moment then burst out laughing.

"Oh my god! I'm sorry man but that sucked!" mark looked hurt "it took you a whole year to come up with that?"

"So Rog" Tom turned to roger who rolled his eyes he can't stand being called that. "What's the plans for the rest of the day?"

"We're all going around town and going to show you all the important places."

He shrugged and they all left together. They went everywhere the performance space, the life café, Tompkins sq park where ever they could think. Tom was really getting on all their nerves he had nicknames for all of them and picked on Angel the whole time. By night they were glad to see him go Angel changed into his pajamas and relaxed on the couch. Tom came up and was staring at him.

Angel sighed "What?"

"Nothing I just realized that you have two jobs."

"I don't have-"

"Not only are you a beggar you're also a butt pirate."

Angel got off the couch "What are you five?" he walked into the bedroom and sat on the bed.

After a few minutes Tom came in and grabbed some clothes "I'm gonna take a shower if you try to sneak in I will knock you out before you can say 'flamer.'"

"Hey I'm gave not a pervert" he objected.

"You say that like there's a difference." Angel rolled his eyes as he left.

The insults continued for a few more hours before he couldn't take it anymore. As soon as Tom went into the other and Angel picked up the phone. It was late but after a few rings Roger picked up the phone.

"Hello?" he grumbled this call interrupted his sleep.

"Hi its angel is it ok if I come over?"

He was suddenly more alert "Ya come right over I'll throw you the key."

He went straight over in his pajamas when he got the key and went up Mimi was there with a big hug. Angel explained what happened as mark fixed a bed on the couch. As he told them he couldn't fight back the tears any longer.

"It hurts to hear that I love him so much" Angel let out a sob into Mimi's shoulder.

"SHhhh.. it'll be ok chica we're all here for you" she rubbed her friend's back.

After a few minutes of that they all started to back to sleep Angel sat at the window. He looked up to the sky and looked for a star to wish on but with all the lights and clouds in that night sky none were to be found.

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**is this story even good?**


	4. Chapter 4

**i hate writter's block :(**

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The next morning when Angel woke up he straightened up the couch and was about to leave when someone walked up next to her.

"Where are you going so early?" Mimi asked.

He jumped "Oh, Mimi do not scare me like that Jesus."

"Sorry, you're not going to say for breakfast?"

Angel looked over to the for the most part empty cabinets "What breakfast?"

"Good point but do you really want to head back over their?"

"Why so many questions?" he sighed and sat on the couch she just kept staring at him, "no but he is still Collins and I do still love him."

"Even if he treats you like crap?"

"It's only temporary" Angel got up.

She grabbed his wrist "you don't know that it could never come back."

"Please don't talk like that now I have to go" he started to leave again.

"Why?"

"Because I'm not going to leave him" and with that he left.

Back at the apartment and back in drag Angel was teased and ridiculed. It felt like she was back in high school and found herself spending more time alone. Tom was usually with the rest of their friends he could never get their names right and called Roger, rog which annoyed him to no end. Collins attitude wasn't the only thing that was different he sounded different, he even walk different. After a few days they got him to go to life support on the subway he sighed.

"What" Roger asked annoyed not wanting to deal with this.

"I don't see why I have to go" tom complained.

"Because you have AIDS and this might help you remember" Mimi rolled her eyes.

"Well there's no law that says I have to go."

"Well there's no law that says you have to be a jerk."

"Hey I-"

"Guys please let's try not to fight to day" Angel said softly.

Mimi and tom sighed and were silent for the rest of the trip. Once at life support Tom Collins who used to listen to every word seemed less then interested. Mark was even there he wasn't filming but he was there to support his friends. On there was out tom was ranting to Angel about how stupid and pointless that was. Roger got mad and started to argue with him.

"Roger calm down" Mimi pointlessly tried.

"No, look Tom I don't know if you lost your manners or what but you need to learn how to not be an asshole" Roger ignored Mimi.

"You know who Collins sounds like?" Angel tried to switch subjects.

"Who" Roger rolled his eyes.

"He sound just like Benny"

"You're right" Roger nodded "see he used to be cool now he hates everything we like."

They all headed back to their apartments which for Angel was a mistake she's never home when tom is there. They ended up getting another fight. She couldn't take it the ignorance, the insults she grabbed her coat and left. Outside it was getting toward evening and Angel spotted mark filming across the street. She had tears in her eyes and prayed he wouldn't see her. She always tried to be strong and hated to break down in front of people she tried to hurry down the street.

"Hey Angel!" Damn he spotted her "where you headin'?" he shouted and head across the street.

She kept her head down "just for a walk."

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing mark"

"Angel what happened?"

"We fought and I couldn't take it hearing him insult me makes it feel like my heart is being ripped out" she wiped a stray tear.

Mark stood there not sure what to do "uh are you going to be ok?"

She shrugged "God I don't even know any more."

"Hey don't give up yet there's still a chance that-"

"I don't think so Mark" she cut him off.

"Don't think like that."

"Sometimes it's hard not to."

"Well no matter what we're all on your side" he hugged Angel and she cried softly into her shoulder.

After a moment of two she let go "And what hurts even worse is that I still love him and he doesn't love me back."

"That's not true it's not like memories just die" he reassured.

"Then why hasn't anything happen?"

"It takes time are you gonna spend the night in the loft?"

"No I just need some fresh air."

"Ok" Angel started to walk away "Angel don't get hurt, ok?"

"I won't" she half smiled and walked to nowhere specifically before going home. She walked for about an hour and that was enough to calm her down when she walked back up the stairs she hesitated with every step. She stopped and starred at her door for a long time she knew what awaited her inside a moody homophobic teenage acting man who used to love her she took a deep breath and stepped inside. Tom was in the kitchen he looked at her.

"Hey faggot" he scoffed.

"Good evening" she mustered a small smile.

"So where did you go?"

"You care?" Angel said sarcastically.

"I don't."

"I went for a walk and talked to Mark. Why?"

"Oh I just figured you were at a gay bar….. Whore" he falsely coughed out the last word.

"Ok ya I'll have to remember that" Angel said confused.

"So I was thinking-"

"It's a miracle" she scoffed tired of this.

Tom rolled his eyes "Anyway I was thinking why don't you just move out." Her jaw dropped, "ya you don't like staying here I don't like having you around so you should just leave."

"Okkkaay no."

"But-"

"No! Why should I have to leave this is my apartment."

"Because you just some god damn fairy that nobody likes" he said.

Angel's heart shattered but she tried not to show it "That is not true."

"Oh ya then how come none of them want to see you why have they only been talking to me?"

"Because you don't want to see me and it's their job to make sure you don't bring any hookers here."

"Enough about your friends Fagzilla!" he made up on the spot.

"Oh My God! That is the stupidest thing I have ever heard!" She shouted.

"At least it's smarter than you!"

"If I had half a mind I'd-"

He interrupted "there you go exaggerating again!"

She ignored that last statement and grabbed the fashion section of the newspaper and tom grabbed the sports. Another difference between Tom and Collins, Collins gets bored with sports easily. While they read they said insults back and forth. Which turned into another fight and Angel was complaining about the way he was acting.

"Why stay?" he blurted out.

"What?" Angel said.

"Then why stay? If I'm as bad as you say then why are you still here?"

"Because I still love you!" she shouted.

"FAG! When are you going to learn that I do not want to be near you?!" just them Roger and Mimi walked in practically unnoticed

"And when are you going to learn that I'm not the only faggot here?!"

Tom slapped Angel across the face and grabbed her wrist ready to slap her again but Roger got in between them and pushed Tom away. Angel started to cry and ran out of the apartment Mimi followed. Roger and Tom started yelling at each other and roger pushed him into the wall behind him. Out in the stair well Mimi grabbed Angel's hand to keep her from running any farther.

"Whoa Angel Clam down" she stopped her and put her hand over Angel's red cheek "I am so sorry."

Angel sat where sat and cried into her knees "He said he would never hurt me ever" the sentence came out muffled.

Mimi knelt beside her "I know but Angel that person in there isn't Collins that is Tom and he is an ungrateful jerk."

"But-"

"Shhh please stop crying Roger is gonna handle it."

"But he's not a tough guy" she tried to joke around.

"He's good at acting like one now sit up you're gonna get mascara on your tights" she tried to help her up. "Now Come on let's get drunk."

Angel let out a half laugh half sob and tried to wipe away one of the never ending tears. Just then Roger appeared in the door way.

"Angel! Mimi! Thank god you need to come here!" he was in shock.

"No I'm fine I don't want to see him" she objected as he pulled her into the apartment.

"No you need to see this!" Tom was lying on the couch barely conscious with an ice pack on the back of his head. He seemed to be in a lot of pain.

"Hey what's my name?" Roger asked.

"Roger please no games" they all gasped because he for a while had just been calling him Rog.

Mimi went up next "Uh Collins what drug was I addicted to?"

"uh Heroin why?" he grumbled.

"You mean you remember?" Roger asked.

"Ya I reme-" suddenly he realized and forgot all about the pain "I remember" he laughed "I remember everything! Even when I lost my memory man, it was like I was in a dream."

"So you remember what you just did?" Mimi asked.

"Ya I was fighting with Angel and you guys came in and I…" he stopped and looked at his hand then to Angel who was standing on the other side of the room.

She had been quiet the entire time and it was easy to tell that she had been crying. She actually still was but at a slower pace.

"Angel.." he walked over slowly "I-I am so sorry." He seemed more scared than she was "I didn't mean to I just I didn't know."

She hesitated before finally hugging him. She started to cry again and Collins kept telling her how sorry he was. After a few moments Angel looked at him and said "I love you."

Collins gently kissed her and whispered back "I love you too."

At that moment Angel spotted Roger and Mimi trying to leave she quickly stopped them.

"And where do you think you are going?" she asked.

"Home I think our work here is done" Mimi smiled.

She hugged them "thanks you guys for everything but mostly thank you Roger." Mimi stuck her tongue out at her "Anyway can you tell everyone?"

"Sure thing, see you tomorrow?" Roger asked she nodded.

Once they left Collins and Angel cuddled on the couch "so what happened after I left?" she asked.

"Roger shoved me into a wall and I hit my head and suddenly I remembered after I almost passed out again."

She giggled "well welcome home happy you're back."

"I'm happy to be back" he smiled and cringed a little.

"How's your head?"

"Hurts like hell."

"Maybe you should go to bed and lie down" Angel helped him off the couch.

"Hmmm… why don't we do something a little different?"

She smirked "and what would that be?" Collins lunged at her before she could run and started to kiss her neck. "Wait one condition."

"What?" he was confused.

"If you hear anyone in trouble out in that stair well ignore them ok?" she joked.

He picked her up bride style and carried her toward the room "Can do."


End file.
